Day 40- Positive change makes you feel weird

Note: This isn’t really about skirts specifically. Just general thoughts about change.

When envisioning the process of making positive changes in life, I think most of us believe that the process will feel good. There might be some hard work, but seeing as how there is that whole word ‘positive’ in the term “positive change”, I think that we expect a certain “feel good” gratification that comes from our efforts.

The “feel good” gratification is there, but what there is MORE is a feeling of weirdness. And in the beginning, I’d say it’s about 80% weirdness.

You feel weird because you are totally out of your element and separated from your personal identity. 

My husband and I were not raised in Christian families, and yet I knew I wanted my children to grow up knowing God and Jesus and have religion in their lives. When we began going to church there was consistent weirdness especially because we didn’t know anything about the gospel or church structure. It felt a bit like playing house. When we started praying before meals, we felt weird. When we told the family we would be going to church on Christmas Eve we felt weird. When we started praying in front of extended family before meals we felt really weird (and still do).

Almost any amount of positive change will make you feel a little weird because not only are you forging a new identity for yourself, but you’re also displaying a new identity to those you know and love.

Also, our habits, be they good or bad, create our personal identities. In order to step forward into something more positive, there is an active letting go of an old, familiar and likely fond identity. When I wrote yesterday about the fact that I’m cleaning my house much better these days, this is all a good thing, but there is definitely a letting go of that person I’ve always been who has struggled so much with housekeeping and even found a certain camaraderie with others because of it. This is especially true if what you’re trying to change was a common part of your family life and forged a connection to those you love.  Change means letting go of that aspect of connection, and it can feel a bit sad!

The good news is that eventually the ‘positive’ part of “positive change” starts to definitely take over if you allow it. Just know the weirdness will be there and move past it anyways.

Today’s skirt. It’s suddenly super hot around here! I guess summer was waiting for fall to start showing itself.

These guys wanted in the picture!

Have a wonderful day!

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3 Comments

Filed under A Year in Skirts, Thoughts on Stuff

3 responses to “Day 40- Positive change makes you feel weird

  1. Dwayne

    As I mentioned yesterday, I am a Catholic convert. I myself was not raised in any church. This was something that bothered me early on. I decided, as an adult, I would start going to church on a regular basis. May God richly Bless you.

  2. jen

    I can identify. I’m a convert to Christianity too though my channel was the Episcopal Church because that’s what my grandparents were. I wasn’t formally baptized until I was 19 (in a Conservative Baptist church — long story) and one of the other things that drew me into church was being in the choir.

    My non-Christian parents and brother are chill with the Christian thing and one of the big surprises when I was 19 was that we said grace for the first time at Thanksgiving. Since then, I married a Lutheran pastor so there’s been some learning and figuring out things on both sides. 🙂

    I can definitely identify where I am on “the spectrum” — I’m into liturgy and if I wasn’t Lutheran, I’d be Eastern Orthodox. (I have some theological issues with Catholicism.) Liturgy feeds me and it’s also just amazing to me that someone on the other side of the world is praying the same prayers and saying the same words as I am.

  3. Good point. It’s easy to talk yourself out of positive changes when the weird feeling sets in, but then when it starts to feel normal it’s so worth it.
    I can imagine that it would seem weird to start praying over meals, etc. for the first time, or even after a prolonged stint without doing so. Kudos to you for raising your children with religion.
    I’m enjoying your blog, not quite ready to commit to a year in skirts myself, but I’ve been wearing them a lot more frequently. And I have always been a dedicated wearer of jeans, or sweats myself. 😉

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