Day 55- Pretty, Happy, Funny, Real

I’m guessing that a lot of us who are LMLD fans made Egyptian lasagna last night (or will at least try it this week). It just so happened that I had NOTHING planned for dinner and was going to the grocery store anyways, so I decided to try it!

What makes me really {Happy} of course is that my kids really liked it. Especially Adam who doesn’t seem to want to have much to do with real food lately. He only wants “cheddo cheese cutted” or Ovaltine or pb&j. I guess those things are real food too, but a meal? An actual meal? Not so much. But as you can see, he ate this though!

While the kids were eating, this little girl was upstairs sleeping.

My {Real} is that I’ve been having a really hard time with her lately. She’s doing the terrible twos tantrum thing and most of the time I can deal with it calmly, but it gets to me sometimes. Adam did this too and now he’s a real sweetie! But he didn’t start coming out of it until past age 3 so I’ve got a full year of this if she’s anything like he was. This is a picture of her sleeping in her room after I put her upstairs during one of her fits.

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This is also part of the {Real} category, but is a bit of a segue. I’d like to recommend that each person who reads this blog today, please check out Protecting the Gift by Gavin de Becker from their library. I experienced an incident earlier while I was dropping Frannie off at school when I witnessed a strange man on a bicycle approach a woman and start talking to her. In my rear-view mirror I could see her pick up her son and put him on her back piggy-back style and hustle to school. This caught my attention so after I dropped off Frannie, rather than heading directly to the store, I U-turned and waited to watch the woman walk home. Sure enough the guy was waiting for her. There was just something creepy about it. The woman looked like she was 1/2 talking to him, 1/2 ignoring him but I couldn’t tell if she really wanted him to be there or not. I was trying to figure out a way to call out to her and offer her a ride, without calling attention to the fact that my real purpose was to get her away from the guy. Anyways, I followed in my van for sometime, just pulling to the side of the road and watching, then creeping forward, trying to figure out what to do/say. Finally, I figured out a fake question and pulled up to the opposite side of the street and called to her asking if our kids were in the same class and what time school was out that day. She quickly crossed the street and then I asked how far she walked because I was thinking of getting more exercise in the morning too. She said it wasn’t far, but then I told her “Well, I’d offer you a ride if you needed one!” She declined my offer, then I confessed that the reason I stopped was because I couldn’t tell if she wanted that guy to be with her or not. She said that she thought it was weird too, but didn’t know what to do about it. She said “He says his daughter goes to the school and he rides home on the bike.” She seemed intent on continuing her walk, although I wish she had let me drive her home. I felt really sick about it as I drove off and made my way to the store. I didn’t want that guy knowing where she lived!

But where Protecting the Gift came in handy is de Becker talks about how women MUST honor their instincts. These instincts of fear are given to us to keep us, and especially our children, safe. We can become conditioned to override our instincts by not wanting to appear rude or like a “bitch” (which is something predatory people will often say when their efforts are twarted). In this instance, all of my internal bells and whistles were firing, but I did feel very unsure of what to do/say how to handle it since she was a stranger to me and I to her. Playing “Tuesday morning quarterback” on myself, I wish I had been more direct with her from the get-go instead of frittering around the issue with my fake talk. After she crossed I wish I had just cut to the point and said “Hey, can I please give you a ride? That guy seems really strange.”

Protecting the Gift is a very valuable book and also has lots of strategies for parents to help teach their children to navigate their surroundings, tune into instinct, and how to get help (and why learning how to talk to strangers is an important skill for kids).

Here’s my skirt for the day!

Have a wonderful day!

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7 Comments

Filed under A Year in Skirts, Thoughts on Stuff

7 responses to “Day 55- Pretty, Happy, Funny, Real

  1. Bethanne

    Good information about honoring instincts. There have been several times I can look back and know that I did the right thing. I am thankful I have never had to look back and regret not taking action, leaving a situation, etc. It is a good reminded to be vigilant. Thanks

  2. Lorraine

    The incident you witnessed outside your child’s school makes me very uncomfortable as well. I was hoping it would end with you giving her a ride and getting her away from the overly friendly man. Good for you for being persistent about trying to help and giving her a way out of that situation. Unfortunately she chose not to take it. Someone who is up to no good is often looking for someone who is compliant and passive. They make perfect targets. I would have pulled out my cell phone dialed 911 and asked him if he wanted to move away from me and my child or wait until the police arrived to move him on. Better to be rude, than dead.

  3. I’m glad you stopped, at least – sometimes it’s helpful just to know that you aren’t the only one who thinks something is off.

    (“Cheddo cheese cutted” made me laugh!)

  4. That sounds like a good book ~ we’re given these instincts for a reason!

    I’m glad he liked the food!

  5. I’m always nervous about offering to help people, too, even women with children… especially inviting them into my car. Plus, way back when, my Dad told me to never stop if I’m by myself and Hubby has said the same thing. With Hubby and me together, we’ve helped folks, though.

    I love the skirts. I’m aiming to wear more skirts, I just need more than 2 in the closet… or is that just an excuse?

  6. San

    Sometimes it can be hard to respond to a gut feeling, so well done for doing something and listening to your prompting at that time. As for the tantrum phases they are hard, one of my older girls could “hissy fit for England!”.

    I’ve just recently discovered your blog, via Aunty Leila and the skirt wearing thing has me pondering and praying… it has been an on/off issue with me for sometime!

    God Bless San

  7. Yikes, I would have been nervous too. For myself, my grandmother taught my mother who then taught me, “Never go anywhere without a knife.” She was serious too! They are big believers in instinct and even if you are wrong at least you are safe. “Cheddo cheese cutted,” is hilarious! If only my son was so articulate even if not correct in grammar.

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