I find myself amusing sometimes. Last week I was all about brown and this week I keep wearing these black leggings and flats. I did get this new dress though! Target for $14.00. This is the first new dress/skirt I’ve purchased in a loooong time. Mama’s got to get herself a few Merry Christmas presents 😉
I have noticed a practice in our American culture that I’d like to briefly comment on.
It’s about praise and admiration.
It seems that the only way a woman can get any compliments anymore is if she changes her appearance. If she looks the same way she always does…silence.
Notice how everyone fawns all over the contestants on the Biggest Loser once they lose some weight? I mean, by everyday standards many of them still look heavy! But still they get the gift of hearing over and over “You look great!” “Wow!”
So what about all of the average people out there who continue to look average? Silence. They NEVER hear “Wow!!” “You look great!” So do they have to gain 20 lbs just to lose it again for anyone to pay a compliment? Or maybe they cut their hair, change the color etc… It’s the only time any praise comes! Men always wonder, “Why do women cut their hair after having a baby??” Well, I think that oftentimes it’s because our body has changed and we aren’t feeling particularly cute, so we cut our hair to feel good and get some positive attention!
What about the thin gals who have always been thin? They have no weight to lose so they’ll never get told “Wow! You look great!” So, many dye their hair blonder, get a tan, and (unfortunately around here) perhaps some new boobs! “Wow! You look great!” Finally, they can hear those words. Or at least feel in alignment with what the TV tells people looking great looks like, so they get that reinforcement.
What about ladies as they age? Wrinkles come. Sagging comes. A thicker mid-section comes. Who tells her she looks great or simply IS great? The television ads act like wrinkles are a skin disease for goodness sake. Hopefully her family tells her, but let’s face it, sometimes we take each other for granted. Also it’s nice to hear it from other people too!
Tell her she’s pretty today. Just the way she is. You think it all the time. I know I do. Some ladies aren’t especially pretty, but there is something pleasing and reassuring about the way they look. Tell them. Compliment something about her appearance. Or just something special about HER.
If we want people to love themselves just the way they are, then maybe we can all bolster each other by giving some positive feedback…without first requiring they change a thing.
[Note: I did NOT write this to get compliments for myself! You all have been super sweet to me already!]
Have a wonderful day!