Day 128- It’s ok to be a little bit dressy

I’ve been meaning to comment on a comment Rachel left me a long time ago!!

“I guess what I was asking is your personal take on how it makes you feel to transfer your style from casual with jeans to casual with a skirt. For me, I didn’t want to go too far to dressy and lose the ease I felt in my clothes yet wanted to project a more feminine image for the sake of my family. I struggled for a while with going too formal, then too matronly. I’ve only just hit the perfect note where I feel feminine and yet casually comfortable. Have you found that yet do you think?”

Such a great question!

Yes hitting that right note can be hard sometimes. Skirts and dresses do involve a strange interplay between potentially too dressy, too matronly, or too sexy. I think that is one of the reasons why women don’t wear them much. Because our society has become so casual, wearing a skirt can automatically make you feel more “dressed up” than you’re accustomed to. And if you “dress down” your skirt too much or depending on the length and material, shoes etc…you can end up in a matronly mode. So, what to do?

Well, for me the first step was embracing this philosophy:

It’s ok to be a little bit dressy

See how I’m dressed in the last Pretty, Happy, Funny, Real? That was pretty much my everyday garb for years. And I STILL like to dress that way too. I do like being casual, but I got really bored with seeing myself that way every single day. I’m really glad I got out of that rut and have found a way to express and enjoy my femininity and set a good example of feminine dress for my daughters (and son too actually).

On the days I’m wearing a skirt or dress, I’m often dressed in something nice-enough to wear to church. What you see me posting day-to-day was formerly my “Sunday best”.  And even now, I don’t dress any nicer most Sundays than I do on any other day. But wearing a skirt as an everyday item does mean that I’m going to the grocery store, to preschool, or to the park often looking a little more dressed up than anyone else. (Although I will say my park friends always look a little dressy too!)

And I’ve decided that’s ok.

I’ve also embraced the philosophy that:

It’s ok to look a little bit matronly sometimes

In certain long skirts I definitely think I’m projecting a conservative religious vibe. And while I’m not comfortable projecting that image every single day, I’ve decided I don’t mind if I look that way or people think that about me. The truth is, I love God, I am religious (or at least growing) and I don’t mind wearing clothing that gives people that idea.

All that said, I do really like when I hit that right note. Cute and comfortable. Even though it is likely a dressier note than it would be otherwise. 

If I’m in a mood to be truly casual, then I just wear jeans.

——————–

Have a wonderful day!

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5 Comments

Filed under A Year in Skirts

5 responses to “Day 128- It’s ok to be a little bit dressy

  1. Jackie

    Interesting post! I have been wearing skirts exclusively for a few years now and have given the topic a lot of thought. I do find in today’s culture that means I am “dressed” up compared to most people.

    I personally think our culture could stand to be a bit more dressed up – or maybe put together is a better word for it. I don’t think you need heels and fancy clothes but I think looking put together and feminine is a good thing. I think it is the sort of thing – you look good, you feel good, you play good. I think that the way we dress can help lift our spirits and that of those around us. I also wonder if the over casual way we dress reflects our overly causal mentality about topics of sex, etc. I just notice a correlation in the last decades with dress becoming more and more casual and morality declining. Just a thought I have had.

    Anyway, I agree it is okay to have the more matronly look sometimes. I know when I have one piece on that I think is a bit more matronly I try to pair it with something that is a bit more in style.

    Also, if people comment on me being dressed up I try to stress how comfy my clothes are, etc. People think that looking nice means you are not comfortable but if you buy the right sizes nice looking clothes are just as comfy as the less put together look. I just think it is good to remind people looking put together does not mean you have to sacrifice comfort. Hope other people share there thoughts on this. I think it is a really interesting topic!

    God Bless you! 🙂
    P.S. Are you Catholic? I saw your candle with Mary on it! 🙂

    • Hi Jackie- you’re right that looking put together does not mean you have to sacrifice comfort. Also I’ve found that dressing this way does NOT cost more money. That was a big one for me. Also I think I get more respect from others in general when I’m wearing a skirt than when I would wear pants. It’s a subtle difference, but one that I notice. For some reason I think we’re in a time when people (young and old) crave tradition. I think there is something reassuring for old folks to see a young mom dressed conservatively, and it’s something reassuring for young people (like teenagers) to see a mom who is not trying to dress like them. Maybe I’m imagining all of this I don’t know!
      I’m not Catholic but I have a Catholic heart. My husband didn’t want to be Catholic after the church scandal so we made the Lutheran compromise. So we were baptized Lutheran (last year) and that’s where we worship. But I love Mary and and love many Catholic traditions so I just do them (like praying the rosary) even though Lutherans typically don’t. We are pro-life and practice NFP.
      Thanks for visiting me!

  2. Jackie

    So funny you mention the subtle difference in respect from wearing skirts. I have noticed that too. I have also noticed I think they help me act better in the sense of it makes me aware of the way I move and sit, etc. and without really thinking about it made me do that sort of stuff in a more feminine way. I don’t think you are imaging but are really on to something. The longer I have dressed this way the more things like this I realize, I wish I could write a book sharing my experiences of this sort of stuff and giving practical tips on how to wear skirts all year long, especially with winter tips as I have wore skirts in all weather. I have even twice walked in 2 ft of snow to church in a skirt (not that it might have been a time that pants might have been warranted but I realized I didn’t have any warm ones and was quite nice in the outfit I came up with) because the roads were so bad you couldn’t drive.

    You do have a Catholic heart if you love Mary!  How neat that you pray the rosary, etc. How did you come across NFP? My guess is from being a Bradley teacher. I took Bradley before my son was born and love the course, etc. I hope to have a home birth the next time around.

    The priest abuse scandal is certainly not to be ignored by any means but I thought you might find this interesting: http://www.thedailybeast.com/newsweek/2010/04/07/mean-men.html. I just found a link to it as I was reading this great article (http://www.ncregister.com/blog/simcha-fisher/here-comes-fr.-everyone) and it made me think of you. Anyway, no matter what the numbers are it is always saddening as those called to serve God lead us and so when they fall into serious sin like this is of course more scandalous since we expect more of them. It is kind of like how it is worse when a public figure, especially a community leader, commits some crime, their position of leadership makes what they did worse in a way. I don’t want to bore you or make you feel I am defending any abuse, etc. it just saddens me to think of the lost Catholics our church could be richly blessed with but isn’t because of this. Maybe someday you can home to Rome, I will pray for that.

    If you have a Catholic heart you will LOVE this set of DVDs (I mean I think most Christians will even without a Catholic heart). http://www.amazon.com/Catholicism-DVD-Box-Robert-Barron/dp/B005J6U77Q/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1325842114&sr=8-1 (here is a trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RzowCr_5Qlk) I know it is a bit expensive but it is a 10 hour long set that takes you around the world with first class cinematogory and commentary. I think the price is a drop in the bucket for what you get (and my family is on a tight budget as I live in an expensive city with a husband in grad school). The priest that made the film also has a fabulous website here: http://www.wordonfire.org/

    Okay, well sorry for the long post, I was going to email this to you but I couldn’t find an email address so a post will have to do. God Bless You!

    • You should blog about your skirt experiences! I’d read it! Thanks for the articles. I read them both. I learned about NFP through a book called Taking Charge of Your Fertility. I like being in tune with my body and I like the rhythm of intimacy that NFP brings to a marriage. Do you have a blog?

      • Jackie

        I don’t have a blog but I would love to have one on this topic but know I would post for like a week and then stop. I would love to share some thoughts I have had about them via email. My email is jrdubroy(at)gmail.com. Maybe you can shoot me an email and then I can write you with some thoughts that I would love to hear your opinions on (warning I am currently getting sick and have house guests coming soon so the response time will probably not be stellar but I will write as I love this topic). God Bless you! 🙂

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